by Linda Nagai
September 1979
When I was matched, my husband lived in Queens and worked at the News World in Manhattan and I was living in the Bronx Center, fundraising for New York Church. He would take the train from Queens into Manhattan, then switch to the Bronx line, visit my team for breakfast and then take the train to Manhattan to go to work. Later my fundraising team moved to the Queens Center and he could visit a little longer. This is a poem I wrote in a card when my new fiancé came to visit my team center. “Father said I should be like Your Mother” by Linda Nagai, September 1979, Queens, New York.
Father said I should be like your mother
However, can I imagine you as my son!
You are coming to visit this morning.
Some mysterious excitement fills our room.
The sisters feel it,
Their teasing begins…
Linda, why are you so happy this morning?
Tell us how come?
Their laughter and love makes us all merry,
On this very…special occasion.
It’s so nice to have so many sisters near,
There are special moments only sisters can share.
Do you know how your visits bring joy
In One way or another
Not just to me, but to all who are here?
But my heart, at the news of your coming,
is not as light as theirs.
I pray to keep our relationship pure
With God at the center,
Our lives in his care.
I hope you will find True Mother in me
I hope I can give you just what you need.
First I will recount for you
My latest experience
with True Parents and God
How my love is growing
As I begin to understand
The path they have trod.
This time I will listen closely as you speak,
Offering my sincerest praise
For your insight of God’s ideal.
I will appreciate each beat of your heart
With the support of a mother,
Who understands what you feel.
Searching for some confidence,
I tell myself,
This time I will be just right for sure!
Oh! There’s the knock at the door!
It’s the one I am waiting for.
I jump to answer as my heart leaps for joy
There you are!
You wish me “Good Morning”
I lose all words, except “hi”
From that moment on I forget all I had been thinking before.
Suddenly, the ‘Mother’ is gone,
It’s only a young girl who stands at the door.
I’m sure I’m living in a fairytale
Where all my dreams will come true.
I never felt like this before,
Till I met True Parents and you.
I was never at such a loss for words
I never felt so shy.
You seem to be so big to me,
But Oh, how small am I!
Now I know how a flower must feel
As it prepares to bloom,
Is God watching over my every little mood?
This frightened little flower wonders,
“How am I doing, Am I alright with you?
Just like I wanted to take care of you,
You always bring me presents,
and speak the words
My heart holds true.
You tell me about our True Father’s way,
Of love, sacrifice,
And indemnity of heart
Over and over again, you give me
The courage and inspiration I need
To make, for my life, a brand-new start.
When it’s time for you to go,
I’m sad we must wave goodbye.
I wish you could stay a little while longer,
For you are my hope and my pride.
When you are gone, I reflect on our visit
And then I ask to myself and God…
How will I ever be like a mother
To one who is dearer than I,
To one who already has
The heart of a father,
To all who pass him by?”
But I’m really not so worried,
When I remember your smile
Surely God has the solution
I must be patient, awhile.
If Father would choose for me,
A wonderful person like you,
Surely he knows the way
To make me a mother, too.